Have you ever had a goal or an outcome and you have experienced an obstacle to achieving it?
How would you like to next time you experience an obstacle say “Oh Yes!” instead of “Oh No”?
Let’s take a look at how it works. Back in the 1970’s everyone was pretty much just going with the flow. However if you’re busy going with the flow and not going anywhere, are there any obstacles? The answer is no, there are no obstacles. If you are not going anywhere there are no obstacles. If you don’t have any goals, you are not moving anywhere. If you set a goal are you going to have obstacles? From the outset we don’t know but maybe.
We talk about the issue of Obstacles in our weekend seminar Your Future By Design and very often we tell a story, it goes a bit like this. I’m at the front of the training room and I have a goal to walk from the front of the training room to the back of the training room to find out what the dates are for the next NLP Practitioner Training because I want to sign up. And I find that there’s one of the delegates chairs in my way and I go “Oh an obstacle!”. What most people say when they encounter an obstacle is, “Oh! that always happens! Whenever I want something there’s always something in the way! Something always stops me.” And what most people do is they pick up their obstacle and they show it to everybody. And they say “Look at my obstacle, I would have been something if it wasn’t for my obstacle! Look at it! Without this I could be a success, but I got this!” And they carry the obstacle with them for the rest of their lives. “Many years ago, if I hadn’t had this obstacle I would have been really successful.”
Because if you don’t have goals, you don’t have obstacles.
Now the minute you set a goal that defines things which potentially could be obstacles. It’s like this:
Let’s say you were going to get on a plane and fly from London Heathrow to Sydney. Maybe you have completed NLP Practitioner Training and NLP Master Practitioner Training and you’re going to go and take NLP Trainers Training.
If you set a course from London Heathrow to Sydney, it about a 24 hour flight, how much of the time is the plane going to be directly on that flight path? A pilot told us in one of NLP Practitioner Trainings, probably only 4%. You are going to be on the line when you cross it. Most people get off course and they look over there and go, I’d rather be in Thailand which is a mistake.
When they get off course, what most people do is they will say, “Oh well I didn’t want that Mercedes” or “I didn’t really want that relationship” and they accept something less.
I went to see my Personal Trainer the other day and he said something very important and also very scary that related to how most people live their lives in the Grey Zone or the Comfort Zone. He said, “Everytime I do something, I ask myself two questions. The first one is what do I want?” And he raised his hand above his head, “ And the second question is what do I need?” and with that he lowered his hand from where he started. And then he moved his hand even further down and he said, “What would I settle for?” Unfortunately most people settle for far less for what they want. They settle for far less than what they need and that is what we mean when we talk about being in the Grey Zone. It’s not even good enough to get good.
So if you are going from London Heathrow to Sydney and you go off course, here’s what you’ve got the think about. The entire process from going from London Heathrow to Sydney should encompass all the adjustments.
You see in the training room, I could go all the way around the delegates chairs or even over them and I keep going. It seems as if I’m off course. However, sometimes the quickest way to get from one place to another is not a straight line. By keeping going and noticing, paying attention to where I am in the relation to my goal, I can make adjustments to ensure I end up where I wanted to be and I achieve my goal. I didn’t go in a straight line. I did set a course to where I wanted to get to.
Next time you get an obstacle, what you going to say, you are going to see “Oh yes! Because I’m on the way!” If you are not on the way, you don’t have any obstacles. If you are on the way and you’ve defined a goal and you’ve defined a goal clearly enough, you can create obstacles. The minute you get an obstacle you should say “YES!” because the obstacle means you are on your way and that’s wonderful. Obstacles are your friends!